In the unlikely event of a water landing...

I'm a planner.  And I love a good bargain.

Friday night I meal plan for the week.  I choose my meals and then write my grocery list.

I also have a running "USA"  shopping list.  This is a list of all the stuff I "need", and don't want to forget to pick up when I go back to the States.  Most of this stuff comes from Target, although several other stores contribute to my massively overweight suitcases.

Even though I have lists, in both cases, I always buy more than what's on my list.  Like I said, I'm a sucker for a bargain.  And then I'll see something that I know I use, and I'll just get it.  To stock up.  You know, in the case that, for whatever reason, somehow the world runs out of it.  Visits to the US involve a lot of my time obsessing about shopping, actually.  Things like where, how, what time, when will I go shopping.  How can I get to Target and T.J. Maxx on the same day?  Will they have what I "need" and if not, will I get one final chance to go back before I leave?

If, for whatever reason, somehow the world runs out of it.

Now there's a long shot. In her latest installment in "O" Magazine, my favorite life coach Martha Beck presents her theories about why living this "hoarding" type of lifestyle can make you crazy, and actually create the type of anxiety you are trying to fix by hoarding.  She names this type of lifestyle a "Just in Case Lifestyle," or, JIC for short.

She argues that a  JIC philosophy actually made sense early in human history, when "everything good was scarce" but actually is detrimental in this day and age when "everything good is readily available."  Or, at least we can make that assumption for most people who read the "O" magazine.

Martha argues that a JIC lifetyle leads to excess, which can then lead to a whole host of dysfunctions.  She states, "Most of us are living in some kind of excess; we work too much, eat too much, rack up debt buying too much stuff. Yet, driven by the unconscious, just-in-case assumption that "everything good is scarce," we just keep doing and accumulating more."

Martha further classifies the JIC behaviors into four distinct categories, and argues that JIC contributes to obesity, dysfunctional relationships, cluttered lives (with too much "stuff"), and money anxiety (where even the uber wealthy feel like they don't have enough).  Her rationale is striking, and credible.  Her arguments are sound.  Finally she offers advice on how to replace JIC anxiety with a mindset of abundance.  As a life coach, she has a simple exercise which goes like this:

1. List 10 times you thought that there wouldn't be enough of something and you survived.

2. List 10 areas where you have too much, not too little.

3. List 20—or 50, or 1,000—wonderful things that entered your life just at the right time, with no effort on your part. Start with the little things (oxygen, sunlight, a song on the radio). You'll soon think of bigger ones. Most of my clients realize that the most important things in their lives showed up this way.
 


Does this sound like you?  Even a teeny bit?  As I cannot do the article justice in this simple blog, I implore you to read the whole thing and give this concept a chance.

I'm going to do things differently this next trip to the U.S.  I'm going to focus on specific and definite needs.  I'm going to stick to my list, and I'm not going to let shopping ruin my visit.  I'm going to spend time with my family and friends and enjoy that time.  I already feel more at peace about this trip than I have about all of my previous trips.

If you suffer from any anxiety at all, this simple mindset switch from scarcity to abundance could be the key to unlocking the inner calm that you are desperate for.


Martha Beck's Strategy to Lower Stress

You Lie

That phrase brings back some vivid memories.

It reminds me of sitting in homeroom as a third grader, watching a little boy in our class yell to a little girl, "I see London!  I see France..."  She of course, wanting to protect her reputation, yelled back, "YOU LIE!"

Third grade antics.  That's what we saw on the floor before a joint session of congress last night.  Vicious antics.

Joe Wilson claims that all of those emotions just welled up inside of him, and he just couldn't help but burst out. 

He lies.

This was nothing short of a publicity stunt, a Washington-style wardrobe malfunction.  Joe Wilson was hoping that he'd get a lynch mob going.  Joe thought he'd be the hero to rally the troops together.  

So now you've gotta ask yourself...who would be moronic enough to think that might work?  And what kind of "man" would display that level of disrespect to a sitting president?  Did he yell that at G.W. when he talked about all of the weapons of mass destruction there were in Iraq?

And not only that, but did Joe bother to look up the facts, the inconvenient fact that health care for illegal aliens is expressly prohibited in the health care bill?  Or was he just hoping to whip up his constituents who would then blindly follow?

Joe, you were little known before this, and you can kiss your political career goodbye.  Please add my name to the already incomprehensibly long list of Democrats and Republicans who look forward to hearing of your resignation.

A Country With a Conscience

When we moved to Switzerland just over two years ago, it was as if we were entering into a time warp.

Coming from a suburb of Los Angeles, it was shocking to find an entire country that was closed on Sunday.  Really.  The whole country just kind of closes for business on Saturday around 5 pm, and remains closed until Monday morning.  No quick Target runs, no Sunday morning pedicures, no mall hopping.  None of that.  This is 2009, people!  What up?

And it's so quiet.  Did I mention that you're also not allowed to mow your lawn on Sundays?

There are plenty of cafes and restaurants, though, that are open all weekend long and  I often wonder how on earth they can turn a profit.  Did you know that there are folks who make a career out of one European-sized (read:  "small") cup of Joe and a newspaper?  I am not kidding when I say that folks sit for hours lingering over one pastry or one soda or one cup of coffee--talking and enjoying each others company.  In the same seat.  At the same table.  The server won't bring your bill until you specifically ask for it, because that would be rude.

Not that anyone can afford more than a pastry.  Eating out in Switzerland requires reservations and some serious cash.  One modest meal averages around the equivalent of $30.  And the portion size is a single portion; there's not even enough to take home!  Aside from the prices, eating (ahem, dining) out is an event that takes all evening.  I suppose if you've just blown an entire day's wages on dinner with your family, you don't exactly want to rush through it.  Because you don't do it often.  And as a result, most of us end up eating in; a throwback to the 70s when our moms made dinner every night, and the occasional trip to the one Chinese restauarant in town was truly an event.

All that means you have to shop for groceries, and if you're really good--you'll plan meals for the week  Or if you're a working mother like me, a rarity in Switzerland, you plan meals to survive.  Not many budgets can afford a $100 nightly tab for dinner.

Which brings me to my next point--the grocery shopping.  It's....different.

There are plenty of stores, and they have plenty of items, but selection is just not part of the Swiss grocery culture.  If you live in the US, the next time you're in your local supermarket, do a tally on how many brands of, let's say, green beans they stock.  If I make a trip to the local market, there is one, just one brand of canned green beans.  Horrified can't even begin to describe my first impressions of Swiss grocery stores.  The foodie that I am--I wanted many types of beans.  The way I was used to choosing my brand was by trial and error, eventually finding the one I liked best.  I would proudly proclaim to anyone who asked that it was my brand of choice.  Well, life's a lot simpler here.  It just doesn't work that way. There is usually one brand of the packaged stuff and fresh produce tends to change with the seasons.

Seasonal.  Now there's a word that doesn't exist in the vernacular of today's saavy American shoppers.  You may remember the little story about me going into a veritable tizzy, doing a little dance in front of farmer Hans's vegetable stall last week when I spotted my first butternut squash of the season.  There was a reason for the dance.  I just cannot get butternut squash until autumn, and then, it lasts only through winter.When it arrives, I do the Butternut Squash dance.

HOW, you might ask me, can you LIVE without CHOICE?  Isnt' it your god-given right Pamela?  Don't you feel jipped?  Controlled?  Like some kind of grocery prisoner? 


But wait!  There's more.

Remember when I told you that shops close daily at 5 or 6 pm?  That includes grocery stores too.  So Saturday at the grocery store in Switzerland is madness.  You're really happy if you can grab that one brand of green beans just in case you need it on Sunday.  Because Sunday.....you know the story about Sundays.  


Why do I love it so much here?  What is it about Switzerland that makes me feel so calm, so nostalgic, and so very relieved as I'm landing at Zurich International Airport after a trip abroad?  Why do I so look forward to returning to a place that give me less choice, provides me with much greater rigor, allows for fewer mistakes, and holds me personally accountable for my actions?  What's so fun about having to plan out my life, just so we'll have food on the table at night when I come home from a long day at work?  What's so appealing about high prices for food, for labor, and meals at restaurants?  

The answer:  "cognitive dissonance."   I've got none.

Cognitive dissonance was such an interesting concept to me when I studied about it in college.  I love the way the words kind of roll off my tongue.  But it's an imporant concept.  I believe that cognitive dissonance is at the root of personal unhappiness.  The faster you can get it out of your life the happier you will be.

Cognitive dissonance, simply put, is when your actions do not match your beliefs.  It is when you do something that is not in line with your inner compass, or when you act (either overtly or covertly) against what you believe is the right way to act.

I think there's a lot of it going around the good old USA right now.

I'm not talking about the attorney general who waged his own morality war against big business and then got caught in bed with a prostitute.  I'm talking about the every day choices we make, either consciously or just out of habit, that aren't in line with our inner beliefs.

For example:  there aren't many people who wouldn't agree that first and foremost, their family comes first.  There aren't many I know who would say that farm animals are just meat and don't deserve humane conditions because we're just gonna kill 'em in the end.  I don't know anyone who is in favor of polluting the ground water supply or letting kids go without health care.  But I do know plenty of people whose actions do not match their beliefs.

Is there one day of the week where they spend the whole day with their family?  Is there an absolute cut-off in the evening when all works stops and they are together around the table for dinner?  Do they choose to eat food raised from responsible farming methods and sustainable farms?  Do they shun meats that come from stockyards?  Are they willing to bring home produce which is not perfect, which may have a scratch or a spot, or is lopsided?  Do they insist on the "super-sized" Costco version, when the smaller size would have done just fine?  Do they support with their actions the notion that everyone, not just the white collar workers, should have a day or rest and be able to work hard at only one job and still be able to support their family--even if they are a cashier at the local supermarket?  Do they support doing their part in helping to ensure that all Americans, but kids especially, don't have to go without basic and affordable healthcare?

Did I mention that even though there is only one brand of canned green beans, that they qualify for being the best canned green beans that I've had?

Unbridaled choice, completely unregulated markets, and the pervasive "survival of the fittest" attitude is beginning to take its toll on the American culture and ultimately the survival of arguably the best country in the world.  I'm not such a disciplined person.  Give me a store that's open on a Sunday and I'm there.  But now, I don't have to make that choice.  I'm home with my daughter, visiting with friends, slowing down, and enjoying not having to get stuff done on my weekend.

It took a while, but my sense of peace is striking.  From overscheduled weekends, and frantic runs to fast food restaurants, to lazy weekend mornings in PJs til 10 am and walks around the lake at 2--the choice, in a way, has been made for me.  And because I'm only human, I'm glad about that.

The laws in Switzerland are voted on by the people.  From the smallest village, to the gemeindes, to the kantons, to the country, every single voting person has a say. The rules, the laws, the demand that what little choice there is must be excellent.  The paying of workers a living wage, even though it results in higher prices for us all, and the enforcement of strict importation laws so that our farmers can continue to farm in a sustainable way are the foundational beliefs of the people.  They made it this way.  They want it this way.

And I believe that they've got it right.